2004-05-12 - 10:40 a.m.
I had the most vivid dream last night and it really freaked me out. It wasn't like one of those dreams where you wake up and vaguely remember weird bits here and there. What was freakier was that most of it actually made sense. It is as follows...
I was living with David but he was going to school, and out of the blue I told him I was breaking up with him. He didn't believe me and he kept laughing. So I dropped him off at school and he said "I'll see you when you pick me up" and I said "No you won't, it's over. OVER!" Then I drove away. Magically I ended up in Westport about two minutes later (which is strange, considering Westport is a four hour drive) and was sobbing my heart out to Mum. Her words were "Why did you break up with him if you're so upset about it?" I replied with "I was sick of coming second to his XBox."
I believe this is a MASSIVE sign. I'm not usually one to believe in mystical and supernatural things, but the fact is this dream was too close to my reality for it not to mean anything. The way he laughed when I said we were breaking up, the comment about the XBox...and I woke up actually crying. This can't not mean anything. There are times when I just get so frustrated with David (as you would have seen in previous entries) there are so many days when I just want to walk out of the house and never come back. He's harder work than a child. He practically is a child.
Oh God. I don't know what to do. It's scaring me how easily I'm recalling this dream, how real it felt while I was dreaming it. It's hard to explain. Most days I love him to death, I really do, but to be honest he is one of the most selfish people I have ever met. I know my mates all wonder why I put up with him - hell, sometimes I wonder it myself.
And just to match my mood, the weather is completley shitty. I don't mind though. I actually quite like rain at the moment. Not the cold, can't stand the cold, but the rain is somewhat comforting. I love hearing it, feeling it on my face, watching it hit the concrete.
Fuck I'm strange.
I'm going to the Crusaders home semi-final on Saturday night with my sister so I'm really psyched about that. I'm pretty sure they can pull it off, although after last week's shocker against the Hurricanes I'm not so sure. They better put Mehrts on in a hurry, once again he was fucking brilliant. He's always fucking brilliant. I'll never stop loving him, that's for sure.
Fuck Dan Carter, he's just a pretty boy that all the 13 year old girls go nuts over. Very similar to Michael Murphy actually, who didn't win NZ Idol as I predicted. Ben did. I couldn't believe it, although in hinesight I suppose all the polls were so close it could've gone either way. Why should I care, soon enough he'll just be another True Bliss or Bardot or whatever.
Well...I guess that's my rant for today. Nearly three weeks until we go to Wellington. Eeek, we're going to see Jesus Christ Superstar. Yawwwwwn, should be thrilling for an atheist such as myself.
