2004-05-20 - 9:08 a.m.
Only 40 minutes into work and already I've finished everything I need to. Pretty stupid huh, considering I'm working through my lunch break today to make up for the hour I lost yesterday. Arghh, why did I agree to do something so stupid like that?! I've been to the gym this morning so I'll be STARVING.
Have to say though, checking out the tourism college was well worth it. It looks FANTASTIC. I know they say it's full on and all that but I reckon I could do it because this is something I'm so intensely passionate about. All my life I've wanted to see different things, experience different cultures and ways of life, walk places sooo different to dreary little Christchurch. This is my opportunity and if I was to lose it, I think I'd regret it for the rest of my life. Of course, Dad wants me to go to University. He hasn't said so directly but I can tell he's disappointed I'm not doing the journalism course anymore. No one in our family, immediate or extended, went to University. I looked the most likely contender for it, with my "flair" for writing. It's not flair, it's mostly dribble that hurls unwillingly out my mouth through my fingers. Then I write things and think "What on earth was I thinking?" Like looking through this - why am I so explicit when there are people READING this?! Well, I don't know if anyone is reading this but still. Anyways back to my dad...he was so thrilled when I said I was considering doing journalism at Canterbury, he practically jumped up and down. And now I'm doing some shitty little tourism course, I can see what's running through his mind - "Two private schools. Thousands of dollars. For this."
For me. Me, his princess, not to play favourites but the one he has some sort of bond with. Wasting her life on a dinky extended geography course. He made some comment last night and my mother had to tell him to be quiet, that "nothing is ever good enough" for him.
Journalism would've been good enough. Reporting on current affairs and politics and matters that interest people. Not learning how to book holidays for other people. I must be such a disappointment to him, dropping out of school three months before the final exams, wasting a year of my life at McShitter's...sorry, McDonald's. And now stuck in this job where I'm isolated and never have any work. Great huh. I can see why he's upset.
Mum on the other hand seems thrilled, but I have to wonder if she really is or if she's just putting it on. If they really want me to go to University I will, it's not I would loathe doing journalism. It was part of the plan if I passed Bursary anyways so what difference will it make?
I better move on, I'm ranting too much for my own good. As aforementioned, I hit the gym this morning, which wasn't easy considering it was 1 degree when I woke up at 6.15. Thank God for my new fluffy dressing gown...oh yeah, that was one of my pressies on my non eventful birthday. I can't complain though, my parents gave me the most awesome boots that I've had my eye on for the last two years. They're denim knee highs with stars and stripes all over. I LOVE them to bits! I can't wait to wear them out, think I'll get a few stares but who cares. And apart from that nothing much else happened. Not that I was expecting it to. My supposed best friend Annisha forgot completely and then yesterday was like "Happy Birthday for yesterday!" (meaning Tuesday.) Tuesday?! My birthday was Monday!
What should I care, I hardly talk to my mates down south anymore. We've just got nothing in common. It's really sad because I honestly thought they were the first true friends I'd ever had. I'm really not very good at keeping friends, huh?
I want to call David to ask him to bring some lunch in for me but odds are the sloth is still in bed, drooling on his pillow and fantasising about having a threesome or some other equally disgusting venture.
And this entry has taken me an hour and a half to fill out because one of the agents just came down and had to fiddle round on the computer to get his stupid ad looking "perfect." I HATE using Publisher with a passion, I just don't have the creative zest that all these other adminsitrators seem to have.
But oh well. I have business cards. ^_~
Can't think of much else to write. It's funny how I usually end my entries on that or a similar note. It's like I run out of things to say but I have to keep talking. Wish I was like that in real life - nothing's worse than an awkward silence!
Okie dokes I'm gonna go. Might go check out the pictionary lowdown this morning.
Man I'm sad...
