2004-06-14 - 4:55 p.m.
Oh God. This is not happening. This is just not happening. I don’t know if I can keep going on like this for much longer, it’s not fucking fair.
David didn’t get the job at Telecom. And I have a bloody sneaking suspicion McDonald’s Kaiapoi has something to do with it. The recruiting company called David at the last minute on Friday morning and told him not to come to the interview that day, that they would reschedule it for next week, and now they’ve called and said he doesn’t have it at all. I think they might’ve called Macca’s asking for a reference, and because they all hate him there they would’ve given him a bad one – they did when he left. The lady from the recruiting company never called Mum back about her reference.
I’m so so SO pissed at McDonald’s right now. If it had anything to do with him not landing the job I SWEAR I’ll be back to Murray Traill in a SECOND. They have no right to say nothing good about him when he always did what was expected, when he hung around for two years in the hope that he’d get promoted as they said, but nooo, they shot him down cos they’re such evil bastards. Fuck I’m crying. We needed this, the both of us did.
WHAT THE HELL HAS HE DONE TO DESERVE THIS???! YOU TELL HIM HE’S NEARLY GOT THE JOB AND THEN YOU GIVE HIM NO REASON AS TO WHY HE CAN’T HAVE IT?!?!
You have no idea how sick I am of having no money. I can’t keep living like this. It’s so unfair. McDonald’s has done nothing but destroy both our lives ever since we stepped foot in it. He broke his back to work there, working towards the manager’s position they promised him if he didn’t move to Wellington. And now they’ve done this to him! I could fucking kill them all and I’m not kidding. I’m seriously not. If I went into that restaurant right now I’d happily pull out a pistol and shoot them all, preferably at point blank range.
But first I’d make them beg. Beg for their lives, make them suffer as they have done so many times for us. Bring them to brink of insanity with their despair. Let them know what it’s like. I’m SICK of being backstabbed and kicked in the face. Why can’t I get a bit of revenge for myself?
IT’S NOT FAIR. Will either of us ever find anyone we can truly fucking trust in the workforce? I suppose not. I’d like to go and work for McDonald’s again, just so I could drop a grenade on the ground and blow them all the pieces.
I really want to kill myself. This is making me chronically depressed, and I’m not even the one going for the job. I’m not impressed that McDonald’s continues to wreck havoc on our life when we both left so long ago. I didn’t think there was anything else they could possibly do. Ohhhhhh fuck someone kill me, make it go away. I don’t think I can go through this life for much longer. Just let me die so it all goes away.
Let me die…please God, I know I said I never believed in you before but if you’re for real you’ll kill me now and let me finally get a break. David deserves better, not just with his job but with his girlfriend. He can’t marry me, he can do better than me. I just want to escape this awful feeling of trusting people only for them to kick me in the teeth. I hate it.
I want to die…I want to die…I want to die…I want to die…
