2004-07-20 - 10:33 a.m.
I bet no one will be surprised when I start my entry with the following words - I am detesting my job more and more every day. It's gotten to the point where I despise waking up just because I know I have eight and a half hours of hell ahead of me. It SUCKS. I wish I could just leave and start looking for another job but I can't with David on the dole. We wouldn't have enough to support ourselves. Sigh. I wrote a reply to Paul's stupid letter and only yesterday did the jerk off actually take it off his desk. It had been sitting there for FIVE DAYS. It took me so much nerve to even write the bloody thing and he wouldn't so much as look at it! Where's the fairness in that?! I have a feeling he's taken it to Mitch and then the whole thing should blow over. But either way I'm leaving this joint. Possibly after we get back from Australia.
Ooh speaking of which...I am currently getting my passport ready and also myself! In that I mean on Thursday I'm going to the doctor to get my eyes looked at because I want to get surgery done to get the shadows underneath them removed. I've had them pretty much since I was born (the photographer who took my baby portraits had to airbrush them out - I was nine months old!) and they're awful. People always ask me if I'm tired and I can't wear eye makeup because it makes them look worse. They go all the way up around to the side of my nose. Gross! I hate them. So hopefully I can get those removed.
My weight...hmm. Hasn't been going all that well. I haven't been to the gym in two weeks because of my chest infection so I'm going back tonight and will probably die in the process but I've gotta get back into it. It's only eight weeks or something until we go to Australia and if I can lose ten or so kilos before then I'll be happier. So I've gotta be really strict from here on in - I've been having a lot more McDonald's and Burger King than I should be.
Oh and I might be pregnant. Yeah. I missed a pill or two over the weekend and even though I've caught up now I know the damage is done. Didn't get a morning after pill. I'm surprised at how calm I am, although if I get a test at the end of the month and two little lines appear I know I'll panic. But at the moment I really just do not care. I've got so much on my mind at the moment. Last week was the shittiest week of my life and it's still dragging out to this week.
Some bitch on Trade Me is not giving me a full refund as she intended for the pirated DVD she sent me and only relented when I threatened to call Internal Affairs, which I would do without a doubt. But it seems sticking up for myself has lost me a once friendly trader. This is why I don't like sticking up for myself, it just causes so much grief and conflict. I can only imagine what's going to happen once Mitch reads this letter.
Also David didn't get the job at State. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised - what good does praying do anyways? No one's listening. I'm sick of getting my hopes up about him getting a job only to see it fall through. If he gets a job then I can leave mine which I so desperately want to do. Plus if I left it would be much easier for me to go to interviews - no way would Paul let me off to go to an interview! So I think the option of being unemployed (again, sigh) for a while in order to find a job would be alright. But not five months like David has done - that's way too long.
I'm gonna go. My knuckles hurt and once again I've run out of work so I might go play a game. Honestly, if there was something here to do I would do it!
Go the All Blacks - they retained the Bledisloe Cup from those wanker Australians. Hurrah!!!
