2005-05-08 - 2:55 p.m.
Wow it's been a while. I guess that's because I finally sort of have a life. I work in a place I love, have made a few friends plus it's nearing the end of the Super 12 so that's consumed a lot of my time over the weekends.
I have one thing to declare...this is the happiest I have ever been in my life.
Seriously. I have a job I love, I'm getting on so well with my parents, I'm earning heaps of money and paying off my debt, and me and David have grown so close with this long distance stuff. I hate him being so far away but it definitely makes me appreciate him more. As for my job, I just keep getting better and better, I can't believe it! This is the first time I've actually been good at something! I'm winning prizes and earning praise and my God, I keep thinking it's too good to be true, something's GOTTA happen to make everything turn to custard sooner or later.
Although I keep having this really strange dream...in it David is marrying another girl and I'm at the wedding. At the last minute, just as the bride is walking down the aisle (I don't even know who she is but oh well) I grab his arm and lead him to a side room, where I confess I've been an idiot and really truly love him more than anything. He kisses me, smiles and runs off and marries the other girl. As for me, well I just sit at the reception depressed with my mother telling me off for acting so surly.
I've had this dream twice now and it really weirds me out. I don't get it. What does it mean? Surely it can't mean anything too bad. David loves me unconditionally, I could never imagine him being with another girl, the guilt would haunt him too much.
Anyway in other news, the Crusaders are at the top of the Super 12 table so we have a home semi final which come hell or highwater I will be going to. It was Alex's 9th birthday yesterday - nine years old! I can remember him being so small and vulnerable and QUIET. God he's a loud kid. And all his friends, bloody hell, I'm just getting over the whirlwind of sword fights and sleeping bag races and pinantas...Christ. I'm now scared my own children will probably kill me from exhaustion. I know people always say that but I really mean it, they will beat me with their hyperness. I'm no match for that.
PLUS surprise surprise, two weeks ago today I hauled everything out of my room and TIDIED IT COMPLETELY. My mother was so surprised. There was no motive or anything, and now it's so tidy and organised. I even have a new bookshelf to accommodate my growing book and DVD collection. It took forever to finish cleaning it but I don't care cos it looks so nice now! Every time I walk in there I can't get over it, I can dance and twirl and run in my room. I haven't been able to do that for about five years.
In some rather sad news, my nana is very very ill with high blood pressure. Not to be a horrible grandaughter but she brings it upon herself, cleaning and running after other people - just like my mum. Thank God I won't inherite that trait, I don't have time to run after other people unless I think they really need or deserve it. For example, today for Alex's party this kid Dion's mother rings at 11 (party is at 1) to say she has no petrol in her car so we need to pick Dion up. COME ON. I was on 8 bucks an hour at McDonald's and could still afford five dollars worth of petrol to keep me going til next pay day! But it's things like this, my mother just can't so no and neither can nana. They both need to STOP. RELAX. They're foreign words to those two. Lucky I'm more a McLaughlin than a Thomson...
Anyway I think that's everything, I'm soaking wet and freezing cos it's pissing down with rain and I had to help Dad push start both mine and Gemma's cars. So I might go have a bath while everyone is out. It's so nice to have the house to myself once in a while. Hopefully I'll update this thing quicker than I have been.
