2005-06-08 - 8:55 p.m.
WELL. Here I am, yonks after writing my last entry. And you know how I said I was the happiest I've ever been? So not true. No there haven't been any fights, I haven't broken up with David and my job is still (somewhat) intact.
When I wrote that last entry, I hadn't seen HANSON LIVE.
Omigod omigod omigod, where do I start?! I swore I wouldn't go crazy when I got there, that I would act like the mature, sensible twenty-year old I have become in the eight years since Hanson first released MMMBop. But you couldn't blame me for screaming as they walked on stage, singing along to every single song and crying as they took their final bow and walked out of my life forever.
The song list was just fantastic. They played all my favourites - A Minute Without You, Lost Without Each Other, In The City - and they sounded SO GREAT live. To be honest I was a little bit apprehensive about viewing them live, I did not want to tarnish the view I've had on them all my teenage years. But WOW! They just blew me away! Some bands can be crap live but not my boys! They didn't miss a beat and man, can they whip thousands of girls into a frenzy or what?! Even me, the girl who said she would remain calm and collected, was drawn into the frenzied fiasco that was...a Hanson concert.
I want to describe every single detail so I never forget for the rest of my life, so please bear with me while I do. I'm still a little bit starstruck (if you can't already tell).
I walked in and found my seat - almost at the front! What luck! Happened to be sitting next to some impossibly blonde, skinny, circa sixteen-year old Australian, who assured me my toiling (and expensive) trip from New Zealand would all be worth it. I don't think I needed to be told this. The theatre was absolutely FREEZING so I kept my woollen coat on (huge mistake later). I looked straight ahead and there it was, the famous drum set with the all too familiar Hanson logo on it, the only object I had ever truly been passionate about learning how to draw. Random guys were walking about the stage, pretending to look busy but I swear to God they were just winding us up. Christ only knows how long I had to wait until the lights dimmed, the girls screamed and I ran in a sort of bewildered frenzy towards the stage.
And there they were. Walking onto the stage. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
First Isaac, his hair in a style I had never seen on him, a weird but good looking mohawk type. The faintest of facial hair adorning his chin, a psyched look about him as he gazes into the heaving, screaming crowd.
Then Zac, my teenage sweetheart, waving and grinning to the crowd as he takes his seat behind aforementioned drum set. He still has the same mischevious smile that was his trademark at age 12 but his hair is a lot shorter and wavier, and he has filled out somewhat. No longer scrawny but almost cuddly. Some unknown force actually stopped me from breaking down the barrier to the stage just to grab him and thank him for saving my life as a teenager.
And finally on strolls Taylor, his smile at the idea of performing his music so genuine and heart melting I liquidate on the spot. He is MUCH better looking in real life. I couldn't believe it. All the times I had dissed him with my best friend Jenn, and yet I couldn't stop staring at his eyes (and his ass if you must know, it looked scrummy in those tight blue jeans).
Thus they began their performance. They started with a song I had never heard of before, but who was I to complain? My DREAM was coming true - and aleady, two minutes in, it was exceeding all expectation. But it wasn't long before me and the thousands around me were singing along to Dancing In The Wind, a song I had never particularly loved until I heard it live.
I don't know what it is, they just put such ENERGY into their performance. I couldn't stop jumping up and down or screaming or dancing. It was almost hypnotic, like they were commanding me what to do. If they had said jump, "how high" would've been the next words out of my mouth. (Along with maybe "how about on top of you?")
When If Only started up, Taylor grabbed his harmonica and started jumping up and down - WHILE PLAYING IT. How did he do that?! I can't even dance and sing at the same time! A harmonica requires air, and a hell of a lot of it at that, and yet he managed to jump about two feet in the air and still blast the thing - and then SING - like a professional. It was amazing to watch.
And of course, who could forget the solos? Zac started with Broken Angel, a song that reduces people to tears on CD...live it paralysed thousands of screaming girls into silence. I stood there, possessed by his delicate hands skimming over the Yamaha piano like leaves on a breeze. I almost died with longing. A man who has captured my heart for the last eight years AND can play the piano like that is pretty hard to beat. And his voice! If maturity was a song, Zac was singing it! Gone is the squeaky pre-pubescent strain, his vocal chords now represent a musician in his prime.
Then they all came back on for a rendition of Crazy Beautiful, one of my favourite songs. The familiar drum beat started, we all went nuts but calmed down as Taylor started talking. "Now guys I need you to help us out with this song. You wanna be part of the band, right?" (insert hysterical scremaing here.) "Well what you gotta do is build it up, so start snapping your fingers. Snap, snap, snap." So I did just that, even though my finger joints were killing me from years of abuse on the piano and computer keyboard. "Alright now bring it up a little." And we started softly clapping. "Come on guys, louder!" And louder we became! Going ballistic with our hands in the air, smacking out the beat as Taylor commanded.
The concert took my breath away in every way possible. I was exhausted, excited, nervous, stunned and most of all absolutely and pathetically besotted by these three guys standing in front of me. No one has reduced me to such weakness. Ever. When they announced they were singing their final song, I felt like grabbing Taylor by the shoulders, shaking him wildly and screaming "Don't go! You're the drug I've been searching for all my life! The only prescription I need! If you leave now how will I go on?!" But of course restraint (and a pinch of common sense) prevailed, and instead I yelled along to Lost Without Each Other. I desperately tried to soak up every word, every note and every beat in an attempt to savour their last song as much as possible.
It almost worked.
They ran off, leaving thousands stranded on what was once an idyllic Hanson paradise, before returning to the stage one final time. Yes! I thought wildly. They know I'm here! They know how much time and money and love I've invested in them, and they're not quite ready to leave me hanging yet. So again, I tried to savour In The City, with every single shout of "Do you love me?!" that echoed throughout the theatre. Oh please God, I prayed fervently, please let them extend the song or something.
But I knew time was running out. With a final bang on the cymbals, a lasting guitar riff and a sybmolic thud of the keyboard, the Hanson brothers stood up and took their cues on the stage. Linking arms, they took one grand bow and slowly walked away, waving and shouting their thanks to the fans of Melbourne, as I burst into tears.
A brief two hour performance in the entire eight years I have dedicated my life to them. It doesn't seem fair. Then again I should just be happy I got to see them at all, I had almost accepted the fact that I never would. But I just couldn't stop crying. It was all over. How could I wait another eight years to see my all time idols? I knew I couldn't. The tears I was shedding knew too. They ran a torrent down my face as I collected my things and slowly walked away from the theatre, trying to run over in my mind every aspect of the concert.
And then I saw it. A merchandise stand! A piece of the Hanson tour to keep with me forever! Obvious marketing but who cares?! I HAD to buy something! Shoving my way through teenagers in a similar state of distress as myself, I made my way to the front of the counter and demanded both a black tshirt and a hoodie. The girl serving me gave me a scared look, as if there were something wild about me (surely not?) and handed over the goods as I handed over the last of my Australian money.
So now I sit here, in the freezing Christchurch winter, wearing my hoodie and listening to Lost Without Each Other, and getting this weird butterfly-like feeling in my stomach every time I picture Hanson on stage. It really truly happened. I was there, in the crowd, I SWEAR Isaac and Zac both looked me straight in the eye - probably thinking I was stupid to wearing a woollen coat in the middle of a scrum of hysterical Hansonites - and I loved every minute.
Every minute. When the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days...
